My father is dead. Hamlet is gone. What on earth shall I do? I'm sure many people are worried about me, in fact, just this morning I came across an open journal in the castle library and discovered someone has been writing about me! Analyzing my every action. My songs may come from a loss of sanity but the true source of both of these is the lose of my adolescence and my emotions towards my father and Hamlet. My brother should have noticed but he himself is inhibited and blinded by his emotions as well. He once told me to beware of Hamlet's love, that I should view it as "a fashion, and a toy in blood;/ A violet in the primy youth of nature" (1.2.15) and now I tell him, through the same words "I would give you some violets, but they/ all withered when my father died" (4.2.76-77). The journal I read was correct in saying that these songs I sing "are related to the tragic fortunes to [my family]" (Seng.223). Such sadness has fallen over myself and Denmark.
My adolescence demolished should not alone bring me to insanity, though it is a great factor, this journal identified another component. I have realized, like Hamlet, that "Denmark has become [my] prison" (Seng.222). Hamlet has mentioned this when his father dies, all alone in the throne room he spoke of his grief to his father's death (1.2) and I now know it is like to mourn alone. A father gone is like a god taken away, for now "my lord" (2.1.74) will never return, he is "dead and gone" (4.2.35)
I hope that these words spoken will not forever haunt me as should living here in Elsinore still, but I hear the gravedigger's song, and I fear he may "be digging a grave for Ophelia" (Seng.227)
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