Blog #2: Poetry Assessment

Long have humans been hurt by the arrows of love. Lost love is an injury that cannot be readily seen or heard by outsiders, but is felt throughout the entire mind and body and that feeling will often extend in whatever new love prospects happen to come by: feelings of gloominess, passiveness, caution, and mistrust. A poem written by George Gascoigne in the sixteenth century expresses just this feeling. Gascoigne's attitude towards love can be seen in the words he chooses, the examples he uses, and the form of the poem.

Poetry is often a showcase of many feelings, examples, and scenarios all put together in a short, concise way, so diction choices are very important so as to accurately portray the perspective the author wants you to see. The morose disposition of the author can be seen especially through the adjectives and adverbs used throughout the poem; words such as louring(gloomy), trustless, aloof, deep deceit, and grievous. These words are very poignant synonyms of sadness and show how the author has experienced so much hurt that he now trusts nothing and sees deceit in things that are most likely innocent. The diction used by the author in this poem very precisely placed to express the author's attitude towards love.

The imagery used by Gascoigne also expresses his attitude on love. In his first example of a rat previously trapped after being lured in by bait, who has now escaped, we see a pour mouse with hurt feelings rather than an annoyed human who had set out to catch pests. The example of the scorched fly who, being attracted to light, was burned by a fire shows us a fly who no longer finds bright things quite so joyful as it used to. The imagery of these examples, however, does not come from countless sentence and infinite descriptions of the scenario taking place. Our visualization is so vivid because the situations that  Gascoigne chooses to tell are ones of great familiarity to most everyone. Although I have never seen a mouse trap in action of a fly being swallowed by flames, it is very easy for me to picture these exact scenes in my mind, but instead of a neutral situation where mice and insects are pests, they are spun to be the protagonists with whom we sympathize with. The examples Gascoigne uses, though not copious in description, create an image that everyone can see and feel.

In his poem, Gascoigne uses a a certain form to his prose. Although there is no easily discernible rhythm to his words the alternate rhyming of the last words in each line creates unity within the text, pulling all the words together in a way that only poetry can manage.


Reflection:
I would grade my essay at a 6 level.This is because I was able to express my ideas clearly and make references to the text, but my analysis of how form affects the authors attitude was incomplete/not thorough enough. In order to improve upon my score I must learn more about forms of poems, which I'm sure we will get to do in class, since we have not had any previous information given to us. I could also work on being more concise in my wording; as I was writing the essay I realized that it was hard for me to come up with the words I wanted. By educating myself more on writing diction I will increase the level of my prose and cut down on time spent on this problem, allowing me enough time to finish the essays. I could do this by reading other well written essays, like we did, or just do more higher level reading in general.

Peer Comments:
http://choprariddhiapenglish2015.blogspot.com/2015/08/benchmark-poetry-essay.html#comment-form

Your essay presents an amazing knowledge and identification of the form, diction, and imagery used by Gascoigne's poem "For That He Looked Not upon Her" but the analysis of devices does not always connect back to the attitude that you believe the author has. In the introduction paragraph you state that the "author seems pessimistic" and is "in a miserable state of grieving" which tells us your opinion but you do not elaborate further on these feelings. Instead, you use the devices that you find to say that they help "the flow of his ideas" (paragraph 1) or "his message" (paragraph 2). Your writing is very concise and well written but it is missing the key element of connecting back to the development of the author’s attitude as the prompt asks, which in turn weakens your argument. I would grade your essay as a very high 6; you "express your ideas clearly" but are "less thorough in the discussion of the attitude and devices” (rubric, 7-6). I think it’s very likely that you will score in the 8 range if you respond to the prompt completely.

http://lennonkaraapenglish2015.blogspot.com/2015/08/blog-2-poetry-assessment.html#comment-form
The identification of the imagery and diction is good, especially the acknowledgement of the fire adjectives which then connect the imagery and diction used by Gascoigne. Your essay does contain some analysis of the metaphors after a small paraphrase, but does not go very deep, so it seems slightly superficial. Your essay also does not talk about the form used by Gascoigne, and speaks only slightly on the diction. Another important part of the prompt was relating the devices back to the authors attitude, which you did do, but in an indirect way. Some times it is hard to tell that you are speaking about the authors attitude rather than a person's general feelings on the poem. An example of this would be in the last paragraph when you are saying the diction choices "evoke warm feelings of awe and excitement and lust that are attached to the subject", this part needs clarification on why these specific emotions come from the warm words and how they shape the authors attitude. Overall I would grade this essay as a 5. This essay could have been a 6 but needs some more organization and development.

Revision:
In For He Looked Not Upon Her, George Gascoigne presents his complex attitude on love due to the loss of a woman in his life. Gascoigne's use of form, contrasting diction, and simple imagery relay to us his feelings of sadness but still love of this bright, shining woman, who now causes him pain.

Gascoigne's poem is, in fact, a Shakespearean sonnet with three quatrains, a rhyming couplet, all with ten syllables, and with the rhyming pattern abab cdcd efef gg. The three quatrains and rhyming couplet split the poem into four parts all with a different focus. The first quatrain introduces the subject, Gascoigne's sadness due to lost love, and the inability to look at her because she is too bright. The second quatrain brings in the metaphor of the mouse and speaks about how the author is now trustless. The third quatrain is the metaphor of the fly, and how you learn not to let yourself fall into dangerous, yet beautiful, things. The final two lines tie back to the beginning, yet with a different tone, to say that he will no longer be "dazzled by desire" and again, not look upon her face. The seperation of the poem into these parts allows us to follow Gascoigne's logic as he tries to decide what to do with his now emptier life. Just as he shifts his focus, Gascoigne also shifts his tone in each of these four parts, going from somber to despair, hopelessness, and finally more reflective and neutral. These tones all build and construct the authors complex attitude on love.

Gascoigne's choice in diction is also very revealing about his attitude. When speaking about himself, the mouse, and the fly, Gascoigne uses morose words such as louring(gloomy), trustless, aloof, deep deceit, and grievous. These all showcase a somber tone around himself. These words are very poignant synonyms of sadness and show how the author has experienced so much hurt that he now trusts nothing and sees deceit in things that are most likely innocent. When describing the woman, however, very different words are used; such as gleam, fancy, dazzled, desire, and blazing.  The diction used by the author in this poem very precisely placed to express the author's attitude towards love itself as tragic but for the woman as still in love.

The imagery used by Gascoigne also expresses his attitude on love. In his first example of a rat previously trapped after being lured in by bait, who has now escaped, we see a pour mouse with hurt feelings rather than an annoyed human who had set out to catch pests. The example of the scorched fly who, being attracted to light, was burned by a fire shows us a fly who no longer finds bright things quite so joyful as it used to. The imagery of these examples, however, does not come from countless sentence and infinite descriptions of the scenario taking place, they are instead, very simple. Our visualization is so vivid because the situations that Gascoigne chooses to tell are ones of great familiarity to most everyone. Although I have never seen a mouse trap in action of a fly being swallowed by flames, it is very easy for me to picture these exact scenes in my mind, but instead of a neutral situation where mice and insects are pests, they are spun to be the protagonists with whom we sympathize with. The examples Gascoigne uses, though not copious in description, create an image that everyone can see and feel.

Gascoigne develops his complex attitude of sadness towards love and enchantment by a woman through his choice in form, contrasting diction, and simple imagery.

Reflection:

I feel that my essay has greatly improved after this revision. In general, I may have done some paraphrasing but I believe at least some of it was necessary so as to further my analysis. A problem I still had was trying to find the best words to present my ideas. This, however, has been a normal problem, and though it does not affect me much right now, it will in a timed setting. I need to work on being more concise in my words and have a wider vocabulary. A reason that I admire poetry is that the author and get across his meaning so effectively in a relatively small amount of words, it is my hope that as we study and write poetry my skills at this will get better.