Many sad stories have been written over the years, mostly gloomy, morose, and heartbreaking, as well as containing children and dogs. In The Beet Queen, however, by Louise Erdrich, a different way of depicting this sadness is apparent. Erdrich uses devices such as selection of detail, point of view, imagery, and tone to tell her story.
Erdrich uses selection of detail at many points to stress how the environment impacts the children. First, Erdrich talks about the children in the boxcar, "their lips violet and their feet were so numb that, when the jumped out of the boxcar, they stumbled and scraped their palms and knees through the cinders." The inclusion of the facts that they were so cold their lips were violet and that they stumbled and became injured getting out of the boxcar paints the children not as vagabonds illegally riding a train, but as helpless, doing all they can to survive. Another example of selection of detail is the experience of Karl and the tree. Edrich describes the tree as quite ordinary but when Karl sees it, "his cheeks went pink" and he was so drawn to the blossoms this "scratch of light" that he buried his face in the blossoms. By describing to us in such detail Karl's reaction we are able to see how Karl has been reduced to hopelessness. So much so that this scraggly tree draws him so deeply into its arms.
Another device Erdrich uses is point of view. Erdrich tells this story in a third person viewpoint.
From this view we can know some of both Mary and Karl's feelings but others are hidden. We also see the situation taking place from the outside. Having so many different views helps us understand the characters. From the outside we see the direct response. We see Karl slowly walking towards the tree and burying his face, but we also see Mary turning around with an expression of surprise because her brother has become so entranced in the flowers. Such an unexpected occurrence. The multiple ways a third person narrator can tell the story depicts the characters in different lights an allows us to see how Karl is affected by the tree. How unusual it is and why it is important.
Reflection:
I think my writing on this particular prompt was not sufficient so I would score it a 4. I begin the essay alright but my analysis gets more and more vague and I use less and less textual evidence to back up my claims.I have a few organizational errors, and I am very repetitive, especially in the last paragraph. I also ran out of time, making my analysis incomplete. This causes my argument to be unconvincing. Overall, my essay did not show a adequate analysis of the passage, which is why I scored in the lower range. A measurable goal I could have for myself is to read and organize for at least 7 minutes before I begin writing. This should help me with my organization greatly.
Peer Reflection:
http://deatonginaapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com/2015/08/blog-3-prose-essay-assessment.html#comment-form
You have a very well written essay with a very concise analysis. You are very specific in of your paragraphs as you analyze each element used by the author in her story. Your essay provides some very good insights, going deeper than the surface and you even provide some ideas, that though not explicitly or particularly implicitly stated, connect well to the prompt and your analysis. The comparison between Karl and Mary is also apparent in your essay and an important part of examining the effects of the environment. In your reflection you state that you focus on the symbol of the tree and that is not necessarily a bad thing to focus on, as it is such a big part, but make sure to connect it to other parts of the story as well. I would agree with your scoring and grade your essay as a 5, with a little more development and expansion to encompass more parts of the story I believe you could score a very high range number.
Friday, August 28, 2015
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Blog #2: Poetry Assessment
Long have humans been hurt by the arrows of love. Lost love is an injury that cannot be readily seen or heard by outsiders, but is felt throughout the entire mind and body and that feeling will often extend in whatever new love prospects happen to come by: feelings of gloominess, passiveness, caution, and mistrust. A poem written by George Gascoigne in the sixteenth century expresses just this feeling. Gascoigne's attitude towards love can be seen in the words he chooses, the examples he uses, and the form of the poem.
Poetry is often a showcase of many feelings, examples, and scenarios all put together in a short, concise way, so diction choices are very important so as to accurately portray the perspective the author wants you to see. The morose disposition of the author can be seen especially through the adjectives and adverbs used throughout the poem; words such as louring(gloomy), trustless, aloof, deep deceit, and grievous. These words are very poignant synonyms of sadness and show how the author has experienced so much hurt that he now trusts nothing and sees deceit in things that are most likely innocent. The diction used by the author in this poem very precisely placed to express the author's attitude towards love.
The imagery used by Gascoigne also expresses his attitude on love. In his first example of a rat previously trapped after being lured in by bait, who has now escaped, we see a pour mouse with hurt feelings rather than an annoyed human who had set out to catch pests. The example of the scorched fly who, being attracted to light, was burned by a fire shows us a fly who no longer finds bright things quite so joyful as it used to. The imagery of these examples, however, does not come from countless sentence and infinite descriptions of the scenario taking place. Our visualization is so vivid because the situations that Gascoigne chooses to tell are ones of great familiarity to most everyone. Although I have never seen a mouse trap in action of a fly being swallowed by flames, it is very easy for me to picture these exact scenes in my mind, but instead of a neutral situation where mice and insects are pests, they are spun to be the protagonists with whom we sympathize with. The examples Gascoigne uses, though not copious in description, create an image that everyone can see and feel.
In his poem, Gascoigne uses a a certain form to his prose. Although there is no easily discernible rhythm to his words the alternate rhyming of the last words in each line creates unity within the text, pulling all the words together in a way that only poetry can manage.
Reflection:
I would grade my essay at a 6 level.This is because I was able to express my ideas clearly and make references to the text, but my analysis of how form affects the authors attitude was incomplete/not thorough enough. In order to improve upon my score I must learn more about forms of poems, which I'm sure we will get to do in class, since we have not had any previous information given to us. I could also work on being more concise in my wording; as I was writing the essay I realized that it was hard for me to come up with the words I wanted. By educating myself more on writing diction I will increase the level of my prose and cut down on time spent on this problem, allowing me enough time to finish the essays. I could do this by reading other well written essays, like we did, or just do more higher level reading in general.
Peer Comments:
http://choprariddhiapenglish2015.blogspot.com/2015/08/benchmark-poetry-essay.html#comment-form
Poetry is often a showcase of many feelings, examples, and scenarios all put together in a short, concise way, so diction choices are very important so as to accurately portray the perspective the author wants you to see. The morose disposition of the author can be seen especially through the adjectives and adverbs used throughout the poem; words such as louring(gloomy), trustless, aloof, deep deceit, and grievous. These words are very poignant synonyms of sadness and show how the author has experienced so much hurt that he now trusts nothing and sees deceit in things that are most likely innocent. The diction used by the author in this poem very precisely placed to express the author's attitude towards love.
The imagery used by Gascoigne also expresses his attitude on love. In his first example of a rat previously trapped after being lured in by bait, who has now escaped, we see a pour mouse with hurt feelings rather than an annoyed human who had set out to catch pests. The example of the scorched fly who, being attracted to light, was burned by a fire shows us a fly who no longer finds bright things quite so joyful as it used to. The imagery of these examples, however, does not come from countless sentence and infinite descriptions of the scenario taking place. Our visualization is so vivid because the situations that Gascoigne chooses to tell are ones of great familiarity to most everyone. Although I have never seen a mouse trap in action of a fly being swallowed by flames, it is very easy for me to picture these exact scenes in my mind, but instead of a neutral situation where mice and insects are pests, they are spun to be the protagonists with whom we sympathize with. The examples Gascoigne uses, though not copious in description, create an image that everyone can see and feel.
In his poem, Gascoigne uses a a certain form to his prose. Although there is no easily discernible rhythm to his words the alternate rhyming of the last words in each line creates unity within the text, pulling all the words together in a way that only poetry can manage.
Reflection:
I would grade my essay at a 6 level.This is because I was able to express my ideas clearly and make references to the text, but my analysis of how form affects the authors attitude was incomplete/not thorough enough. In order to improve upon my score I must learn more about forms of poems, which I'm sure we will get to do in class, since we have not had any previous information given to us. I could also work on being more concise in my wording; as I was writing the essay I realized that it was hard for me to come up with the words I wanted. By educating myself more on writing diction I will increase the level of my prose and cut down on time spent on this problem, allowing me enough time to finish the essays. I could do this by reading other well written essays, like we did, or just do more higher level reading in general.
Peer Comments:
http://choprariddhiapenglish2015.blogspot.com/2015/08/benchmark-poetry-essay.html#comment-form
Your essay presents an amazing knowledge and identification
of the form, diction, and imagery used by Gascoigne's poem "For That He
Looked Not upon Her" but the analysis of devices does not always connect
back to the attitude that you believe the author has. In the introduction
paragraph you state that the "author seems pessimistic" and is
"in a miserable state of grieving" which tells us your opinion but
you do not elaborate further on these feelings. Instead, you use the devices
that you find to say that they help "the flow of his ideas"
(paragraph 1) or "his message" (paragraph 2). Your writing is very
concise and well written but it is missing the key element of connecting back
to the development of the author’s attitude as the prompt asks, which in turn
weakens your argument. I would grade your essay as a very high 6; you
"express your ideas clearly" but are "less thorough in the
discussion of the attitude and devices” (rubric, 7-6). I think it’s very likely
that you will score in the 8 range if you respond to the prompt completely.
http://lennonkaraapenglish2015.blogspot.com/2015/08/blog-2-poetry-assessment.html#comment-form
The identification of the imagery and diction is good, especially the acknowledgement of the fire adjectives which then connect the imagery and diction used by Gascoigne. Your essay does contain some analysis of the metaphors after a small paraphrase, but does not go very deep, so it seems slightly superficial. Your essay also does not talk about the form used by Gascoigne, and speaks only slightly on the diction. Another important part of the prompt was relating the devices back to the authors attitude, which you did do, but in an indirect way. Some times it is hard to tell that you are speaking about the authors attitude rather than a person's general feelings on the poem. An example of this would be in the last paragraph when you are saying the diction choices "evoke warm feelings of awe and excitement and lust that are attached to the subject", this part needs clarification on why these specific emotions come from the warm words and how they shape the authors attitude. Overall I would grade this essay as a 5. This essay could have been a 6 but needs some more organization and development.
Revision:
In For He Looked Not Upon Her, George Gascoigne presents his complex attitude on love due to the loss of a woman in his life. Gascoigne's use of form, contrasting diction, and simple imagery relay to us his feelings of sadness but still love of this bright, shining woman, who now causes him pain.
Gascoigne's poem is, in fact, a Shakespearean sonnet with three quatrains, a rhyming couplet, all with ten syllables, and with the rhyming pattern abab cdcd efef gg. The three quatrains and rhyming couplet split the poem into four parts all with a different focus. The first quatrain introduces the subject, Gascoigne's sadness due to lost love, and the inability to look at her because she is too bright. The second quatrain brings in the metaphor of the mouse and speaks about how the author is now trustless. The third quatrain is the metaphor of the fly, and how you learn not to let yourself fall into dangerous, yet beautiful, things. The final two lines tie back to the beginning, yet with a different tone, to say that he will no longer be "dazzled by desire" and again, not look upon her face. The seperation of the poem into these parts allows us to follow Gascoigne's logic as he tries to decide what to do with his now emptier life. Just as he shifts his focus, Gascoigne also shifts his tone in each of these four parts, going from somber to despair, hopelessness, and finally more reflective and neutral. These tones all build and construct the authors complex attitude on love.
Gascoigne's choice in diction is also very revealing about his attitude. When speaking about himself, the mouse, and the fly, Gascoigne uses morose words such as louring(gloomy), trustless, aloof, deep deceit, and grievous. These all showcase a somber tone around himself. These words are very poignant synonyms of sadness and show how the author has experienced so much hurt that he now trusts nothing and sees deceit in things that are most likely innocent. When describing the woman, however, very different words are used; such as gleam, fancy, dazzled, desire, and blazing. The diction used by the author in this poem very precisely placed to express the author's attitude towards love itself as tragic but for the woman as still in love.
The imagery used by Gascoigne also expresses his attitude on love. In his first example of a rat previously trapped after being lured in by bait, who has now escaped, we see a pour mouse with hurt feelings rather than an annoyed human who had set out to catch pests. The example of the scorched fly who, being attracted to light, was burned by a fire shows us a fly who no longer finds bright things quite so joyful as it used to. The imagery of these examples, however, does not come from countless sentence and infinite descriptions of the scenario taking place, they are instead, very simple. Our visualization is so vivid because the situations that Gascoigne chooses to tell are ones of great familiarity to most everyone. Although I have never seen a mouse trap in action of a fly being swallowed by flames, it is very easy for me to picture these exact scenes in my mind, but instead of a neutral situation where mice and insects are pests, they are spun to be the protagonists with whom we sympathize with. The examples Gascoigne uses, though not copious in description, create an image that everyone can see and feel.
Gascoigne develops his complex attitude of sadness towards love and enchantment by a woman through his choice in form, contrasting diction, and simple imagery.
http://lennonkaraapenglish2015.blogspot.com/2015/08/blog-2-poetry-assessment.html#comment-form
The identification of the imagery and diction is good, especially the acknowledgement of the fire adjectives which then connect the imagery and diction used by Gascoigne. Your essay does contain some analysis of the metaphors after a small paraphrase, but does not go very deep, so it seems slightly superficial. Your essay also does not talk about the form used by Gascoigne, and speaks only slightly on the diction. Another important part of the prompt was relating the devices back to the authors attitude, which you did do, but in an indirect way. Some times it is hard to tell that you are speaking about the authors attitude rather than a person's general feelings on the poem. An example of this would be in the last paragraph when you are saying the diction choices "evoke warm feelings of awe and excitement and lust that are attached to the subject", this part needs clarification on why these specific emotions come from the warm words and how they shape the authors attitude. Overall I would grade this essay as a 5. This essay could have been a 6 but needs some more organization and development.
Revision:
In For He Looked Not Upon Her, George Gascoigne presents his complex attitude on love due to the loss of a woman in his life. Gascoigne's use of form, contrasting diction, and simple imagery relay to us his feelings of sadness but still love of this bright, shining woman, who now causes him pain.
Gascoigne's poem is, in fact, a Shakespearean sonnet with three quatrains, a rhyming couplet, all with ten syllables, and with the rhyming pattern abab cdcd efef gg. The three quatrains and rhyming couplet split the poem into four parts all with a different focus. The first quatrain introduces the subject, Gascoigne's sadness due to lost love, and the inability to look at her because she is too bright. The second quatrain brings in the metaphor of the mouse and speaks about how the author is now trustless. The third quatrain is the metaphor of the fly, and how you learn not to let yourself fall into dangerous, yet beautiful, things. The final two lines tie back to the beginning, yet with a different tone, to say that he will no longer be "dazzled by desire" and again, not look upon her face. The seperation of the poem into these parts allows us to follow Gascoigne's logic as he tries to decide what to do with his now emptier life. Just as he shifts his focus, Gascoigne also shifts his tone in each of these four parts, going from somber to despair, hopelessness, and finally more reflective and neutral. These tones all build and construct the authors complex attitude on love.
Gascoigne's choice in diction is also very revealing about his attitude. When speaking about himself, the mouse, and the fly, Gascoigne uses morose words such as louring(gloomy), trustless, aloof, deep deceit, and grievous. These all showcase a somber tone around himself. These words are very poignant synonyms of sadness and show how the author has experienced so much hurt that he now trusts nothing and sees deceit in things that are most likely innocent. When describing the woman, however, very different words are used; such as gleam, fancy, dazzled, desire, and blazing. The diction used by the author in this poem very precisely placed to express the author's attitude towards love itself as tragic but for the woman as still in love.
The imagery used by Gascoigne also expresses his attitude on love. In his first example of a rat previously trapped after being lured in by bait, who has now escaped, we see a pour mouse with hurt feelings rather than an annoyed human who had set out to catch pests. The example of the scorched fly who, being attracted to light, was burned by a fire shows us a fly who no longer finds bright things quite so joyful as it used to. The imagery of these examples, however, does not come from countless sentence and infinite descriptions of the scenario taking place, they are instead, very simple. Our visualization is so vivid because the situations that Gascoigne chooses to tell are ones of great familiarity to most everyone. Although I have never seen a mouse trap in action of a fly being swallowed by flames, it is very easy for me to picture these exact scenes in my mind, but instead of a neutral situation where mice and insects are pests, they are spun to be the protagonists with whom we sympathize with. The examples Gascoigne uses, though not copious in description, create an image that everyone can see and feel.
Gascoigne develops his complex attitude of sadness towards love and enchantment by a woman through his choice in form, contrasting diction, and simple imagery.
Reflection:
I feel that my essay has greatly improved after this revision. In general, I may have done some paraphrasing but I believe at least some of it was necessary so as to further my analysis. A problem I still had was trying to find the best words to present my ideas. This, however, has been a normal problem, and though it does not affect me much right now, it will in a timed setting. I need to work on being more concise in my words and have a wider vocabulary. A reason that I admire poetry is that the author and get across his meaning so effectively in a relatively small amount of words, it is my hope that as we study and write poetry my skills at this will get better.
Blog #1: Multiple Choice Reflection
The first AP Lit multiple choice assessment of the year, if only a pretest to see where we stand at this early point, did not go over as well as I would have hoped. Although this is a new year with a new curriculum, and the methods and knowledge we had learned (and presumably retained) in AP Comp do not exactly apply, I scored a low 11/25, or 44%. For me, one of the skills I should know how to apply and yet still do not yet fully do, is the close reading of the text at hand. I understand the importance and helpfulness of close reading, yet when presented with so many questions, and so little time, my conscience seems to escape me and I merely underline interesting lines or words. Another problem caused by the time crunch is that I tend to believe there is less time than there actually is, so I stumble through the text not reading it completely and missing key components, which further lead into my bad scoring. Time management is something I need to work on so I can calmly analyze the text without rushing my mind. Another source of my demise is that we have not yet learned the information needed to answer some of the questions pertaining to devises used. This information, however, will surely come and decrease the amount of points lost in that department. Similarly, another source of my troubling score is the different types of questions we have not been presented with before. In AP Lit we are asked more "philosophical" (a mon avi) questions than in AP Comp, drawing parallels between the literary world and ours, and analyzing extremely extended metaphors. Overall I would deem my score not so concerning at the moment but I certainly have plenty of room and directions to grow. I am looking forward to wonderfully informative year.
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